I have no interest in talking to you further right now, Sea Breeze
Well, I can certainly understand that. I am heartened by the fact that you seem to have latched on to the concept of Underserved Kindness.
But, unfortunately I see no evidence that you have entered into a contractural relationship with Jesus "for the forgiveness of sins" - Mt. 26: 27-28 Don't you want to get your sins forgiven?
The bigger problem, as I see it, is that even if you did want to get your sins forgiven by means of the blood of the New Covenant, you would try to make a deal with THE WRONG JESUS....one that doesn't exist, one that didn't raise his own body from the dead, one that went back to the ground or was simply disappeared.
The Jesus Christians are saved by has "a name that is above every name", Why? Because he did what no one could ever do - raise himself (his body) from the dead. It is every Christian's guarantee that they will live as long as Jesus does in their own body... just like Jesus.
The apostles never taught that Jesus would receive a different body. You must know that. If we preach anything other than what the apostes preached we are cursed of God.
But though we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel unto you than that which we have preached unto you, let him be accursed. As we said before, so say I now again, If any man preach any other gospel unto you than that ye have received, let him be accursed. - Gal. 1: 8-9
My advice is to simply find a decent bible-believing church (preferably a majority text preaching church) and just go, sit quielty and listen for 2-3 years.... make a few genuine friends at some of the pot-lucks while you are at it....Friends that may not care if you don't come all the time, but are happy to see you when you do.